Check out the website:  Look at the recent Political Notes and Len’s Letters on the website.  Len’s Letter #34 Skullduggery to become President, Len’s Letter #35 Messing with the Electoral College

010921         Len’s Letter #36   Where will Donald Trump Live?

2021               A contribution from Bill Perlmutter

We know that Donald Trump’s White House leaks.  Aides, family members, Donald Trump himself – they all tell us things we wouldn’t know about other Presidents.  Where is Donald Trump going as he avoids the inauguration? Where is he going to live?  Not to Mar-a-Largo.  The 1993 agreement with Palm Beach allowing Trump to turn Mar-a-Largo into a business prohibited him from living there.

Lingering civil and criminal charges may complicate his life.  He may face charges in connection to the insurrection he encouraged on January 6?  He could be removed from office before he tries to pardon himself.    Trump may prefer to get out of the country.

Bill Perlmutter, a classmate in a couple of writing classes, obtained this leak from the White House.  Bill says he can’t be 100% certain that these two letters below are authentic.  Neither is an original.   One is translated from Russian to English.  The other is translated from Donald Trump’s version of written English to more standard English.  Sadly, neither translated letter is date.  Judge their authenticity for yourself.

Dear Donald                     Translated from the Russian by Olga Skepticovonitch

First allow me say how much it pained me when I heard you lost the election. I’m sure it was the dirty tricks by the slimy Democrats and their crooked friends. You are so loved in America by millions of loyal, law abiding citizens it must have been the filthy liberals who managed to fix the voting machines and get millions of undocumented Wetbacks to vote for Biden. In Russia, our elections are closely supervised and there is no possibility of anyone winning except me. Yes Donald because of my popularity I have been president since 2000.*  When I see you next time I will explain how the NKVD taught me to win even when I lose.

Donald I am inviting you to move to Russia as soon as you clean up your affairs, or after you come out of prison, whichever is sooner. I have a beautiful dacha that belonged to Tsar Nicholas the Second located in The Crimea on the banks of the Red Sea, you can have it rent free. This magnificent home comes fully furnished with silverware that belonged to Catherine the Great, Persian rugs from the Romanov’s and a Silver Samovar with gold handles encrusted with emeralds once owned by Peter the Great. I know having fine things is very important to a man of good taste like yourself.

All the help consists of former convicts from a Gulag in Siberia.  They are hardworking and very trustworthy. Your family is of course welcome to join you. Unfortunately, your daughter Ivanka and her husband Jared Kushner will not be permitted to enter Russia due to their association with Israel with – whom we do not have friendly relations.** I hope you understand. Personally, I have always liked the “people of the book”. Some of my best friends are Jews.

When you manage to withdraw the money from the Cayman Islands where you deposited it during your last four years as president, (eighty million dollars).

Please exchange the money for Diamonds right away! I have a countryman Ivan Ivanov formerly from the Forty Seventh Street Diamond Center in Manhattan who will convert your money into diamonds He can be trusted to give you the best value for your dollars. We have done much business together.

Tell Melania to sew the diamonds in her panties and not to walk funny as she boards and exits the plane When you arrive in Moscow I will give you the name of a friend who will convert your Diamonds into Rubles (at a fair exchange rate).

I hear that since the pandemic your country has had a shortage of toilet paper. Not to worry, we have plenty of toilet paper in Russia, made from recycled copies of Pravda. Not as fine as your Charmin but has the advantage of something to read while sitting on the throne.***=

I want to take the opportunity now to thank you for your support, especially when your fake press tried to accuse Russia of all kinds of assassinations and murders. Blaming it on the Chinese was a stroke of genius.  I want to assure you that the ninety million dollars you sent us for laundering is safe in the Kremlin Bank of Moscow, less of course a small twenty percent service charge. You and your family will receive round the clock security even though Moscow is one of the safest cities in the world. There are some criminal malcontents who continue to show their disapproval of our glorious motherland. Not to worry, these CIA trained trouble makers are usually quickly rounded up and given a one-way ticket to Siberia.

Donald, I hope that you will accept my invitation and come live in my beautiful peace loving country far away from people like Nancy Pelosi and Kamala Harris

We have so much in common!

Warm Wishes, VP

*Technically incorrect.  During this period, Putin was Prime Minister for 4 years.

**Putin may have had other reasons to keep Jared and Ivanka out of Russia.  Israel and Russia have reciprocal embassies.  They have common adversaries – Iran and Turkey.  They have achieved military agreements.

***This is a modest exaggeration, harking back to the Soviet days.  Since 2000, Russia had produced more toilet paper.  Consider this, though:  Russians use 3.8 kg of toilet paper per person per year, Central Europeans 8 kg, Western Europeans  15 kg, Americans 25 kg, Donald Trump – who knows?

Dear Vladimir       Translated from the English by Tammy Thomas

Your kind letter almost moved me to tears. I have been disappointed many times this year by people I trusted but who have become unworthy of that trust. If not for my family I believe there is no one I consider my friend except for Rudy Giuliani, and sometimes I wonder if he’s losing it. I consider myself an honest man surrounded by deceit and treachery. Even my so-called friends in the Republican Party stabbed me in the back when they refused to allow a fourth recount of the dishonest election in Georgia or to create a commission to audit the results. This is why your invitation means so much to me. You have been a loyal friend and I accept your invitation to move to Russia with the greatest of pleasure. I’m still hoping to learn that I can pardon myself.  Could I resign and let Pence pardon me? But would he?

I thank you for making sure that my eighty million dollars is secure and waiting for me in Moscow. I can hardly wait to see Biden’s face when the dirty Democrats finally get hold of my income tax returns and discover there are no assets they can attach to pay for my so-called debts. If they sell the Trump Tower, my golf courses, Mar-A- Lago, and other properties those vultures will discover that all my properties have outstanding mortgages greater than their asset values. As my father Fred told me, real estate is the best and easiest way to make money.

I know how much you admire my wife Melania, I want to assure you she feels the same about you. We both look forward to meeting your wife Lyudmila Shkrebneva, (did I get the spelling right?). Perhaps I can learn some Russian, I have a great talent when it came to foreign languages. Between you and me Vladimir are you still seeing that gorgeous gymnast with the to die for body? What’s her name, oh yes, Alina Kabaeva, Is it true you had four children with her? If yes, that’s another thing we have in common, except you are smart, you don’t marry your girlfriends. As for children, I still don’t know what to do with Baron and Tiffany. While we are on the topic of women, do you remember the two hookers you sent up to my room the last time I was in Moscow? Well, some nasty lying reporters have spread the ugly story that the girls and I indulged in Golden Showers. Please Vladimir, if those girls are still in Moscow give them each one way tickets to a Gulag. I cannot take the chance that Melania will find out. She has an explosive temper. The last time we had a fight she threw the A.C. D.C. converter from my hair dryer down the toilet. I had to walk around with a towel covering my head until a secret service man found me another converter.

I know that the national drink of Russia is Vodka I believe you are aware that I don’t drink alcohol, and I’m sure there will be many toasts all around, I don’t like looking foolish toasting with seltzer. My favorite drink is Dr. Brown’s Celery Tonic which I’m sure you never heard of. There is a factory in Croatia that makes it, I would appreciate it very much if you could beg barrow or steal a few hundred cases. Just kidding about the begging part. As to not allowing Ivanka and her husband Jared to come to Russia because they are Jewish. Neither of them wants to live in Russia and besides, Ivanka was just offered a good job as a fund raiser for Hadassah and Jared, now that his father is pardoned, intends to work for the Committee to Pardon Benjamin Netanyahu in Israel.

Thank you again Vladimir for your kind invitation, I will see you soon. I hope.

Best wishes from Melania, Ivanka. Tiffiny, Baron, Jared Donald Jr and Eric.

To a great Leader